Most life transitions, even if exciting, contain an element of stress.
A relocation to a new country is one example of a life event that may have negative effects on our overall well-being. This is because relocation requires significant disruption in routines, roles, and identities, removing the person from what is familiar, from family and support systems. This disruption can affect an individual’s ability to understand what their role and identity is. Even when the move is seen as generally positive, the necessary adjustments are disruptive and create additional pressures on the person, a relationship or on a family.
When measured on the indicators used to evaluate stressful life events, relocation is rated, depending on the individual, as causing moderate to major stress. Furthermore, studies have shown that approximately one third of relocations fail because members of a family are unhappy. What happens often is that the practical arrangements immediately before and after the move take up so much space that the person manages moderately well. There is often the rush of adrenaline which accompanies us at times of challenge. However, not as much attention is paid to the emotional aspects which the change demands, and after the initial excitement wears off, people can find themselves deeply unhappy.
There is no avoiding it – relocation is a major life transition and just taking care of the practical aspects are not sufficient. Relationships can suffer unless both partners at a similar level of commitment to the project. New resentments can surface if both partners are not as equally enthusiastic about the new life, or if one partner does not slot as easily into a new structure. If there are underlying cracks in a relationships, the foundation can crumble under these new pressures. Without the containers normally provided by the support of family, friends, familiar neighbourhood, and a defined role, the relationship can feel quite exposed.
At the end of the day, however, relocation is just another stressor and like all stress it can be worked with, provided we learn the necessary skills.
